What is “trauma” anyway?
If you’re searching for a trauma therapist for yourself or someone you love, then you already know all too well what trauma means to you. And ultimately, no matter how anyone else defines trauma, the only definition that really matters is your own. That said, it might be helpful to know how I define and approach it. I tend to cast a wide net when considering what qualifies as “trauma.” Here’s how I define it:
An experience or situation that a person subjectively perceives as a threat to his or her physical or emotional safety over which they feel they have no control and/or that overwhelms his or her resources to handle it.
What does “healing” from trauma even mean?
It’s important to remember that “healing” from a traumatic experience doesn’t necessarily mean returning to exactly who you were before the trauma. That may not be a realistic goal, and focusing on that may set you up for disappointment. Trauma changes you. It affects your thought process, your likes and dislikes, and how you interact with people, to name just a few.
So here’s my outlook on healing from trauma (keep in mind, please, that this is my OPINION and is not a statement of medical or psychological FACT). I believe “healing” involves learning to live in – and accept – the new reality created by the trauma you survived, learning to carry your hurt with grace, and learning to find meaning after your experience.
Is what happened to you fair? Absolutely not! I wish that only good things happened to good people. If I ever find a genie in a bottle, that’ll be my first wish. In the meantime, the best I think we can do is heed the wisdom of Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist, Holocaust survivor, and one of my personal heroes: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
How I can help you move from post-traumatic distress to post-traumatic success
Several types of therapy have been shown to be effective in reducing and/or managing the troubling symptoms, feelings, thoughts, and behaviors that can linger after a traumatic experience. Arguably more important than the specific technique or style of therapy a professional may offer is the relationship you can form with that professional. Do you feel safe sharing with him or her? Do you feel validated, supported, and respected? Can that person create a space where you can slowly and over time allow yourself to feel vulnerable?
While everyone’s journey from victim to victor is different and there’s no one-size-fits all formula for healing from trauma, I believe you can visualize the journey in four phases. I use office-based “talk therapy” and, if you’re interested, equine-assisted counseling to help guide you through those phases at your pace and in a way that feels safest to you.