Clear skies don't make dramatic sunrises

We all think we want clear skies. We hope for them, and we curse the storm clouds when they inevitably appear on the horizon. The hard-to-swallow reality, though, is that it’s those clouds that scatter and bend and intensify our life’s trajectory and bring out the beauty in us. If we have the courage and support, we can allow ourselves to be bent and let the full spectrum of our colors show. Our lives can become more impactful and more compassionate than they may have been had the skies remained clear. 

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Does time really heal all wounds?

I’m calling bullshit on one of the greeting card industry’s favorite phrases. You’ve lost a loved one? Time heals all wounds. You’ve ended a significant relationship? Time heals all wounds. You’re recovering from a traumatic event or grieving a significant loss? Time heals all wounds. I love how simple and full of hope that is. I’d love it more if it were true. Or at least more completely true.

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“You’ll be hearing a moment of silence”

I was on the phone recently with the customer service department of a big company. The woman on the other end of the line was very nice and trying earnestly to resolve my concerns. At one point in our conversation, she needed to put me on hold to ask her supervisor a question. As she did, she said something that immediately struck me as rich with inadvertent wisdom; like an accidental challenge for me to forget my petty customer service issue and reflect on the pain of the human condition. “You’ll be hearing a moment of silence,” she told me, and then I was alone on the phone. 

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A diamond in the muck

A recent moment with a horse made me think of what I call “foxhole friends.” They’re the friends who don’t hesitate to jump into the foxhole with you when the loss bombs start falling and the grief bullets start flying. Maybe you already have one of two of these godsends around you. Maybe you ARE one of them.

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Dave Wyner
The wind, the oak, and the willow tree

Life sends plenty of wind our way; a belligerent person, unexpected hardships, and difficult changes. In the face of that foul weather, our society seems to glorify those who “stand up” to the winds or “hold their ground” or “don’t let them get away with that.” We seem to reward the oak trees among us. The thing is, over time, these oak trees get brittle, and when their brute force begins to wane or proves ineffective, their egos suffer. When the wind gets strong enough, even the “tough” oaks will break if they’re too rigid to bend. 

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Dave Wyner
What we look for is what we see

It comes down to this: what we look for is what we see. Sometimes that’s ALL we see. When you look for all the things that are going wrong, you SEE all the things that are going wrong. Before you know it, it’s become a habit.

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Can we please redefine PTSD?

When you experience a traumatic event, loss, or unexpected life transition, it’s easy to feel very alone; like nobody understands you, what happened to you, or how it changed you.  And there can be no mistake; whether it was a catastrophic event or an ongoing situation, you’ve been changed.  But you don’t necessarily have a disorder. 

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10 things picking up horse poop can teach you about life

The first lesson you learn when you work at a ranch is that horses poop. A lot. No sooner do you pick up the last pile in the paddock than it’s time to start all over at the other end. But here’s the thing; I’ve discovered that picking up horse poop (the polite term is “mucking”) not only calms me, it’s also full of life lessons. Here are 10 things I think mucking can teach you about life.

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