10 things picking up horse poop can teach you about life
I’ve been co-facilitating equine-assisted psychotherapy and learning programs for about four years, and it’s been a profound experience. Working with horses can be empowering, healing, frustrating, and educational; often all at the same time. Of course, the first lesson you learn when you work at a ranch is that horses poop. A lot. No sooner do you pick up the last pile in the paddock than it’s time to start all over at the other end.
But here’s the thing; I’ve discovered that picking up horse poop (the polite term is “mucking”) not only calms me, it’s also full of life lessons. Here are 10 things I think mucking can teach you about life.
1. Life is never mess-free (aka “shit happens”).
There’s no such thing as a perfectly clean paddock. If there are horses, there’s poop. If that’s all I focused on, I probably would have thrown in the rake long ago. So, I also try to focus on all the benefits and joy I get from being around the horses. Plus, every month somebody takes away the poop and turns it into compost for farmers and gardeners. Beautiful things quite literally grow out of the muck. There’s also no such thing as a perfectly clean life. If there is life, there will be hardships. If there is striving, there will be failure. And if there is love, there will be loss. Too often, we try to ignore or escape this reality. We desperately search for a way out of the muck whenever our feet start to get dirty. What if, instead, we had the courage to sit in the muck and not avoid it or pretend it isn’t there? What if, through acceptance and perseverance — sometimes gut-wrenchingly hard perseverance — you allowed yourself to stay in the mess for a time, and kept yourself open to the lessons, the hard-won wisdom, and the connections, meaning, and love that the muck can show you? Do that, and you just might see something beautiful growing out of the shit. (Yes, I know this is a wildly optimistic, Hallmark card-like way to start an article. I also happen to believe it’s true; not easy, but true.)
2. Nobody is immune to messes.
I have almost 20 years of formal education under my belt, including college and graduate school. I have diplomas, certificates, and awards on my wall. And not once have any of the horses ever looked remotely impressed by any of that. They just poop, turn, and look at me as if to say, “Hey human, don’t just stand there. You’re the one with opposable thumbs. Clean up that mess.” There’s nothing like picking up a few hundred pounds of horse poop to remind me not to take myself too seriously. I think everyone needs something like that in their lives. It doesn’t matter how much money, education, or status you have, or how much special consideration you thinkthe universe owes you. None of us are exempt from messes. Period. And when the messes happen, the universe will just turn to you and say, “Hey human, don’t just stand there. Use your opposable thumbs (and your mighty brain) and clean up that mess.”
3. Even if you didn’t make the mess, often the healthiest thing is to deal with it anyway.
I hope it goes without saying that I didn’t create the poop I’m picking up in the paddock. Still, if I don’t help pick it up, the mess can become unhealthy for the horses and downright unpleasant for the humans working with them. I’m guessing there have been many times throughout life that you’ve been affected by messes, personal or professional, that you didn’t create. This leaves you with two choices: complain about how unfair it is and play the victim, or take responsibility (not for the mess but for your reaction to it) and clean it up, change your behavior, end a relationship, or change your expectations.
4. Cleaning up messes is a marathon, not a sprint.
Picking up horse poop is all about pace. The average pile of poop weighs between three and five pounds. Doesn’t sound like a lot, but with six horses pooping eight to 10 times a day each, that equals up to 300 pounds of poop every day. Try to race through the mucking and it can become a serious workout. I’ve tried it and I’ve quickly run out of steam. It seems to me that life works the same way. When you try to race around adulting and being productive and addressing every mess in your life as quickly as possible, you wind up exhausted with no energy to deal with tomorrow’s messes. Life goes much more smoothly when you pace yourself, accept that you may not fully clean up every mess every day, and save some energy for tomorrow.
5. It’s important to appreciate the space between the messes.
I know I said that as soon as you finish picking up the last mess in the paddock, it’s time to start all over again. That’s true, the poop is never-ending. However, it’s not like it’s wall-to-wall poop. There are spaces of mess-free dirt that get larger and larger the more you muck. So when I look up and get discouraged about how many more piles there are to pick up, I remind myself to turn around, take a deep breath, and admire all the poop-free ground I’ve already created behind me. Similarly, self-improvement can be a daunting, sometimes discouraging task if all you do is look at the mess ahead of you. Sometimes, it’s important to stop for a moment and appreciate all the hard work that has gotten you to where you already are. Have compassion for yourself. Love yourself. Then put your head down and keep mucking.
6. Every once in a while you have to upgrade your tools.
Muck rakes, the tools of choice for picking up horse poop, tend to bend and break after a lot of heavy use. It’s like they say, “I’ve had enough. I don’t have what it takes to clean up any more messes.” That’s when you buy replacement parts or even a whole new rake. In life, we often find ourselves tired or overwhelmed, facing a mess we just don’t have the energy or tools to clean up by ourselves. And that’s where therapy comes in. We can turn to mental health professionals to help us bolster our worn out tools, learn new skills, attitudes, and approaches so that we can go back into our lives and, hopefully, use those new tools to keep picking up the messes.
7. The middle of a storm is not the best time to clean up a mess.
During a snowstorm, the ground in the paddock can get pretty muddy and slippery. Plus, as the horses walk in the mud, they make deep footprints that leave the ground pocked with dips and divots, making it annoyingly difficult to push a wheelbarrow. And if that wasn’t enough, the horse poop actually freezes to the ground. The bottom line is that it’s way more difficult to clean up the mess during a storm. Better to wait until the storm passes and the ground dries up (and the poop thaws). In life, personal growth is hard to pursue when you’re in the midst of your own internal snowstorm. Those dark moments when the clouds in your mind are thick and black isn’t the time to layer more “shoulds” and “ought tos” onto yourself. Sometimes, it’s easy to berate yourself for not being able to simply “snap out of it” and be your best self, full of hope and joy. But it’s probably more realistic to focus on getting yourself back to a stable baseline; not growth, not self-improvement, just stable (which, in itself, can be a monumental effort). There’ll be time to work on being your best self after the clouds clear.
8. Ignore the mess and it’s just going to keep smelling worse and worse.
Admittedly, there are plenty of days when the poop piles up and the paddock doesn’t get cleaned. It’s a big enough place that it’s not immediately noticeable, and there’s no imminent danger to the horses. After three or four days, though, it’s pretty hard to ignore. The smell is stronger, the flies are thicker, and the horses are just standing in their own mess. The same things happens in life. For a day, you can skip cleaning the dishes, avoid having that difficult conversation, or choose not to exercise. Do that for too long and the kitchen starts to smell, your relationships feel less fulfilling, or your body starts feeling older and stiffer. If you do a little bit each day or make just a little progress toward a goal, you’ll feel less overwhelmed and more in control.
9. The only way to stop the poop is to stop feeding the horses, and that won’t end well.
What goes in must come out. It’s a pretty immutable fact of biology. Horses eat a lot, so they poop a lot. There’s no way around it exceptto stop feeding them. Of course, if you stop feeding them, they die. (Also an immutable fact of biology.) The human spirit also dies if you stop feeding it. Dreaming, hoping, reaching. That’s what your spirit feeds on. It’s true that if you stop doing those things, you might make fewer mistakes and messes. You might feel less vulnerable too. But at what price?
10. When you’re truly present, anything can be a meditation.
Weird as it may sound, I actually enjoy picking up horse poop. It’s peaceful. I can go at my own pace, get in touch with my body, and watch the thoughts come in and out of my mind. In other words, I can be mindful. And if I can do that while picking up poop, I think that pretty much proves it’s possible to be mindful anytime, anywhere. It’s simple, but not easy. It requires deciding to be present with whatever poop’s going on inside you and around you; just observing without labeling, judging, or attaching. Maybe I’ll offer a class in Mindful Manure Meditation. Want to give it a try?
About the author
Dave Wyner is a psychotherapist, National Certified Counselor, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, and Certified Grief Counseling Specialist with a practice in Louisville, Colorado called A Path Forward Counseling. He’s passionate about helping people rebuild their lives and thrive again after painful losses or traumatic experiences. His abiding desire is to help people affected by trauma and grief tap into their own strength, courage, and resilience in order to find meaning and purpose in their lives. In addition to traditional office-based counseling, he also offers equine-assisted psychotherapy with a herd of six horses at a small, private ranch. In his spare time, Dave enjoys hiking the beautiful Front Range with his wife and dog, nature photography, and catering to the two cats who graciously allow him to live in their house.